Sunday, May 23, 2010

Obstacle Course

So it's been an interesting few weeks. There have been ups. There have been downs. There have been dogs. What there hasn't been are Blog Posts. I apologize. I know that many of you live for these updates, sorry for starving your soul.

I've been thinking a lot about obstacles. I said to someone the other day that I'd been busy setting obstacles for myself. To be fair, I've also been removing some. I think the key is to pull up more than you put down - but hey, then life would be all sunshine and lollipops - and what fun would that be?

There are all types of obstacles or blockages in the world. Some are physical, others emotional. Some involve other people and some we create all alone in our little noggins. What they all have in common is that they somehow hold us back, thwart our growth and stop us from reaching our goals. The trick is that on the surface they don't all look bad. I've learned that I can do great things when I focus my energy on something or someone. Unfortunately I have a tendency to pick things that suck all my energy and give me very little in return, hence leaving me depleted and unable to work towards the goals that are really important to me.

I believe that energy is finite. I think this may be a popular theory but I honestly don't remember much about 8th grade science so I'm just going to say that it's true and go on with my story. So, we all have this finite amount of energy - manifested both emotionally and physically. What we choose to do with that energy is really important - it's our energy, it's what keeps us going and if we're going to give some away - allocate part of this asset - we should make sure we're getting a good return on our investment. Now I don't mean money and yes volunteer work is good yadda yadda yadda. What I mean is that if you're going to put your energy towards a project make sure that you're getting something from the experience that equals what you're putting in. If you're working so hard that you're getting sick and no one is even saying thank you - the balance is off and you need to fix it. Same goes for people - if you're doing all the work in the relationship/friendship/siblingship/daughtership/mothership (hee hee) and you don't feel that you're being valued or gaining something from interacting with this person then it's not fair to you.

I have a tendency to give all my energy to other people or side track myself with projects that I convince myself are important so that I can avoid what I really should be focusing on. For me it's usually because I'm scared - scared that if I truly direct my energy towards what I really want to do, then it might actually happen and the stakes would be way to really real.

I haven't been doing this as much lately. Go me! In fact when I was in New York recently I had some conversation with people who I really respect and felt like my plan was finally coming together. I can tell by their faces and their feedback that I'm on the right path. That's the good/bad thing about honest, intelligent friends - they're not afraid to tell me when I'm full of shit and they know me too well for me to fool them. Now I'm working on clearing up some personal obstacles that I've been focusing way too much energy on - it's amazing how awake and alive you feel when you choose to take your energy back and direct it towards something positive.

Speaking of things that are good investments of energy - I got a dog!!! Her name is Molly and she's a rescue. She's exhausting right now but it's pretty darn worth it. I think I will make her Senior Vice President of Cuteness....I, of course will remain President, for the time being.

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